What is life?
Well i guess most people take life as a hope, a hope for a better tomorrow so this is what motivates them for a better tomorrow, a better future?So what do you do when your desired future is vanished?
My desired future, that was to build up a family with you, what i promised you, what we talked about so much about what we gonna do together. Remember the mail i sent to you talking bout it before we broke up?Actually i sent it after i knew bout your affair to see how much more do you have me in your heart, but judging what you replied, i knew we will be nothing more than friends in the future.
You said you’ve changed, i agree and accept it because i know what you are facing is very different from the past. I know i won’t be able to understand because i’m not the one facing it but who’s the one who choose this?I’m not blaming you but i’ve being trying my very best for you here, waking up in the middle of the night just to hear you voice, staying at home and skip dinner with my family just to chat with you,doing things on behalf of you. Maybe you don’t know but i always put you as my priority, even above my family. Even when i knew bout your affair i wasn’t thinking about why you doing this, i’m worried, worry of what kind of guy you are facing and etc. That’s how much i used to love you.
I always wonder why am i punished for being loyal, for loving you?A friend of mine was even asking me how confident i am with you with all the exposure you have(just months after you went there), i, being childish and etc told him i have all my trust on you and what happen then?You have no idea how many people got the suprise look when i told them bout us, bout what happen. I really don’t get it, why are you hiding it from me?Maybe you’ll think that i won’t be able to take it, maybe you feel i’m too weak to know the truth until i have to find it out myself?
Someone told me “You guys don’t look like a close couple” shortly after we broke up, it makes me wonder, how long has it being since you lost your feeling on me?1 month?1year?2years?Why didn’t you tell me anything at all?What happen to the promise of sharing everything?When i confront you, you told me “I don’t know how long it was gonna last” and you just went disappear for 1 week. I didn’t know i’m such a good spare bf that you can keep and use whenever you need, and 1 week later you told me you have friends over that time thus can’t answer my call and etc. That just explain how unimportant i am for you, isn’t it?
Whose the one who told me it’s hard to explain things on phone, whose the one who wanna meet me and clear things up?What happen then?I’m tired of waiting for you, tired of missing you, tired of loving you. It’s all gone now, the one i love, things that i care the most, things that matters to me the most, it’s now all nothing but memories.
I don’t love you anymore, you’ve changed and the one i love has gone so let my love for you be memories.
